Tuesday, July 6, 2010

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The Sun

Lety and I were sitting under a tree in Central Park. The leaves looked like the lane of sparkle from the sun on the sea. We laid beneath the sky as the sun hangs above the ocean with its bits of light floating on the energy it sends through the sea.

Monday, July 5, 2010

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Kept Out


I was on a stage in a plastic Knight's costume and some play was supposed to be going on but I wasn't speaking the lines as they were written; I never even considered that I may have known them; there was no attempt to speak the lines. I commented on some of the character's actions as if they were real; I related them to the real experiences of my life. I heard an audience member complain that I wasn't performing correctly, but -- as if it weren't for them but me for whom I was on the stage -- I ignored her and focused inward. I tried to see my hands but they weren't there. I lost the play because I tried to force myself to see my hands instead of accepting that they weren't there -- or that I didn't need them.



Neverland (Piano Variation in Blue) -- Jan A.P. Kaczmarek

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

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Moirai's Gloves

hands slipped
in a cashmere promise,
a kiss met
on shaken palms

Monday, June 28, 2010

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Nothing to Do but Smash Kangaroos

Holly Henry Mancini

Marion Cotillard! Assuming the cat has more than just pajamas, she's the the cat's black evening frock. To me she's one of the the best examples of feminine perfection.

Friday, June 25, 2010

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(Parentheses)


This post is dedicated to Mayonaid because it is from our wonderful, pages long, totally bad-ass message conversation on le Facebook.



You Are the Best Thing – Ray LaMontagne

Is GAP having a good sale? I need to get business clothes if I get this proofreading job (I find out if I get it today! Je suis très excité).

Unnecessarily long, priggish grammar rant in 5...4...3...2...1...

I have a big issue with terminating punctuation inside parentheses. The parenthesis should be an interjection on the sentence in which it's contained that wouldn't fit or might even damage the sentence and textuality if it weren't separated. If it's not explanatory (really, it should be explanatory), if it isn't an interruption then it belongs in the text on or excluded completely because then it probably has nothing to do with whatever you're writing (or in a footnote, but I hate them with the flaming passion of a thousand STDs).

In the above example, "I find out if I get it today! Je suis très excité" doesn't really belong in parentheses. I put it in parentheses though because that paragraph should really be about the GAP sale and having to get business clothes, not about getting the job. However! my interest in the sale at GAP is because of a need for business clothes that wholly depends on my getting the proofreading job, which I find out if I get today (I know, right – DJ Dilemma, spin that shit!).

Anyway, all of this is supposed to be about my issue with terminating punctuation in parentheses brought on by my use of the exclamation point in "I find out if I get it today! Je suis très excité." There is no need because it shouldn't be a freestanding exposition (if it is or not, I haven't yet decided), but, all together now, an interruption. In a different case such as "All I can say is hooray! because I got the job," I wouldn't consider the exclamation point as terminating because it isn't; it's a glittered and bedazzled comma. BUT! (DJ Dilemma, keep that jawn goin' louder) in the case at hand, the exclamation point would need to serve as a semicolon (my saving grace for two independent clauses in a parenthesis), and homie don't play that. Could a jester replace a queen? Would you call a splash in a pool a motha-fuckin' tsunami; or a People's Choice Award, an Oscar?! Heavens, NO! You wouldn't even think it, let alone actually call an exclamation point a semicolon.

Okay...I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore. If it isn't obvious, I'm trying to tighten up my use of parentheses 'cause I let them run rampant. I need to be their pack leader; rules, boundaries, and limitations, Cesar would say. I could have just avoided all this by rewriting the paragraph:

Is GAP having a good sale? I find out if I get that proofreading job today (Je suis très excité) and I'll have to get business clothes if I do. I want to get a navy blue sport coat and dress pants, a white, fitted shirt, a skinny tie, and these shoes.


Thursday, June 24, 2010

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Is It Thursday Already?


One day without the internet at my house and I've lost my shit completely. I didn't have gas either yesterday, which led to hours in bed thinking about everything I should be doing. I'm at the library today; the plan: to just do everything that I think I should be doing. I get frustrated, though; this isn't me, I say, this is really something that I want to do, but again, I have to ask, is there a difference. Shouldn't I want to be doing the things I should be doing. This might not make sense without specifics, so I'll use the case of my internship. I got the internship because it was something I wanted, but now it's become something I don't do but should be. I'm lazy. No more laziness.



I Put a Spell on You – Nina Simone

I love my daisies, my friends. They're mine.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

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Tuesday


Sur le Fil – Yann Tiersen

I've been feeling pretty crappy these past few days. Shout out to Ms. Leticia ElNaggar for always making me feel better. I need to force myself to be around people. People make me forget everything that is horrible. I just need to grin and bear the happiness by distraction, allow it, forget it, and let myself move on from it.

But playing with legos in Lety's basement – that is the purest happiness.

I feel like I'm being kept in a life against myself. I always complain that I can't ever just be me but am always a presentation of the person I want to be, but is there really a difference? I'm falling out of life again, out of connection; I spilled the few drips of emotion that have condensed over the years, but now I'm emptier than before with nothing to show for it. I don't think I'm even trying anymore. Because trying at life is not living? Well, neither is this.